Stereotype of one true love
I come across one common situation amongst my patients. Say I am consulting a woman, 35-40 years old, in the peak of her mature beauty. Single. Either divorced or was never married. I ask her: “Why don’t you have a husband or a close relationship?” “I am too old for that, no one is interested,” is her reply.
Sometimes she really thinks so. Sometimes it’s an excuse - “just leave me alone”. The point is that she doesn’t let herself be loved. She had an unhappy marriage or relationship. May be her husband left her for another woman. May be her loved one passed away. This woman puts this block up: “Never again”. This is a huge mistake.
There are very few fatal situations (which can be determined with the help of Astrology or Palmistry) in which a person has only one attempt at being in love. The rest are stereotypes and beliefs coming from distorted medieval traditions. That there is only one true love. That a woman has to be loyal to just one man even if he left her. That she has to put up with a drunken lazy person even if he beats his children and doesn’t support his family. This is her duty, her fate, her destiny.
Self sacrifice should be distinguished from foolishness. A falling person may be saved by love. But you can’t trample all over your life because of public opinion. You can keep love and fidelity towards a deceased person. But don’t just be afraid to love again.
Sometimes I can clearly see that a woman is destined to have very strong and beautiful relationships but she blocks this program and forbids herself from falling in love. Sometimes removing this block is quite easy; I just tell her that I see the presence of true love and a happy family in her life and she lifts her own ban. God never refuses us a chance to experience love because that what we came to material world for.
I remember one patient of mine from a Baltic country. She was almost seventy and she was undergoing a course of treatment in our clinic. She was having a marma-massage in order to slow down her ageing process. I was reading Rasayana (the science of rejuvenation) lectures and told her that the best substance for preserving youth is love in a person's heart. This lady came up to me after the lecture and asked: “Can I really experience love at my age?” I told her that I was absolutely positive about that.
When I came back to this place one year later, a woman approached me. I could not recognize her at first; she looked no older than fifty, her eyes were shining, her wrinkles smoothed out and she was radiating happiness. It turned out to be the very same lady. About three months after that initial lecture she went on holiday to Europe and met a great person of her age there. They fell in love, got married and were incredibly happy together. “I am so grateful to you,” she said. “Is there any chance for us to have children?”
There are cases when people over 80 years old get married in old people homes. So why should younger women have to put up a cross on their chance of happiness?
From the book “Ayurvedic Philosophy of Love”